I find it funny that adults seem to preach a consistent theme of chaos when passing along wisdom of parenthood. Through discussing the new roommate (read: baby) with parents, friends and coworkers each gives a little wisdom from their experience with raising children. The overarching theme that prevails from these chats is 'chaos will soon be knocking at your door'. My wife Jenna's family is especially clear on this particular point.
I understand that with a child comes a great deal of change. That is simply common sense. The household environment will physically change with a myriad of cribs, toys, pack-n-plays, slip-and-slides and stair gates. There will also be an internal change to be expected. As I understand the way you view the World will change. A new parents reactions to the World will change. Change, change, change. Got it.
What I don't understand is the sense that this change will be entirely uncontrollable. I am fully prepared to chalk this up to pre-baby naivety; however, I can't help but think that this opinion is entirely based on how flexible and prepared (mentally) an individual is to a life with a baby. Isn't 'expecting the unexpected' actually turning the 'unexpected' into the expected? If I know things will change and I am confident in my own ability to adapt, why can't this 'chaos' be managed and the change be on my terms?
This past Saturday morning, my wife, my father-in-law and I headed to a church sale for baby goods. Unbeknownst to me, these kinds of sales are the things for which mothers and fathers tirelessly search Google. At the advice of a close friend, we arrived a few minutes before the event opened at 8am. Pulling into the parking lot, we were greeted with a long line to get into the church. I would estimate around 250+ people were in line ahead of us. In all likelihood there were more people than that. I was texting back and forth with a friend who was coming to the sale with his wife and mother-in-law. We both agreed that a church sale, in the rain, at 8am on a Saturday was exactly what we wanted to be doing. Sometimes things just work out for you. Amiright?
At 8am sharp, the doors to the church opened and people flooded the multi-roomed sales floor. There was an urgency in the air that I just couldn't understand. I fully expect this to be the same scene at most Black Friday 5am TV sales. Cars were improperly parked in the parking lot. Each half in a well-marked parking place. Headlights still on. Women sprinting from their car to get in line and wait. I thought to myself, "Ah ha! This is the chaos that we've been told about."
Strolling calmly through the sale, we looked over things at our leisure. We didn't rush. We didn't match the desperation of the people around us. We first looked over the strollers. This was a packed and panicked room. We didn't stay long as we decided that the used strollers were being sold close to full price. Next we headed into the non-clothes space. We looked over a couple of diaper bags and Baby Bjorn carriers. We got one of each for, what I think was, a great deal. My wife also found a pack-n-play for a good price. To ensure that everything was included and unbroken in the pack-n-play we decided to open it up. This couldn't have caused more confusion, consternation and panic among the crowds in the room. People continued their mad dash by stepping over us as we investigated the pack-n-play.
The clothing room wasn't any better. This might have been the heart of the frenzy. The church basketball court was lined with rows of long folding tables. Leading out of the gym, the church had actually staged an area in a hallway where shoppers could comb through their items/baby clothes to determine if they really wanted to buy them. This struck me as strange until I realize the need for this area. Shoppers were grabbing handfuls of clothes off of the long folding tables and stuffing their shopping bags full. They would then sit down in the 'Sorting' area and look over what they have grabbed. ... I'll let that sink in for a moment. People were actually using the snatch-and-run method to shop at this sale.
After a long check-out line we left with several very good deals. It was a little after 9am and people were still pouring into the church. I was happy to leave. I think we all were.
Looking back on the experience I am not certain what I should take away from the event. It's fair to say that most of the attendees of this event were frighteningly overzealous for deals. It's also fair to say that this was certainly 'chaotic'. I'm hoping that my wife and my reaction to this situation is telling of the future and how we will handle things with our children. We stayed calm and relaxed. We didn't get caught up in the fervor of the sale.
All in all, we will have to wait and see how we handle parenthood. As I said before, this could all be pre-baby hubris and naivety. I'll have to comment on this posting a year from now. That future post will begin with one of the following two lines:
1. "Flexibility and adaptability are a parents best friend"
or
2. "Early-April me in 2014 was an idiot."
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